whats holding you back??

If any one is reading this might have realized by now, that things dont come out easily out of me! And mind you this is not only in reference to the frequency of my posts but also to one dreaded habit/nature that I posses since ages. One of my good friend even knowingly or unknowingly asked me to get rid of this particular habit while having the final good-bye 3 years back.

well I was talking about sharing......could be related to any thing like...sharing food, thoughts, friends, drinks, space so on and so forth. the lines written by someone over my t-shirt 'share kiya kar it would help' still flash in my mind. I never accepted to call this a handicap, but to be honest its nothing more than that! I believe this might not be entirely affected by selfishness, but to making choices as well. Although healthy discussions and disclosures on certain topics with peers is part of a rational thought process, but the equations can drastically change when you need to discuss about the person who is cheating upon you or vice-versa, about a situation in which you might have helped your friend or a situation in which you might have said no in place of a yes.

Speaking out definately helps but there is always an 'amour propre' factor associated to it, more so with men. Or atleast men like me. I have been the least blessed on this sharing thing or you may say, it was my choice. But for this to happen you need to have confident and reliable counterparts, I dont know whether parents or even best buddies can be helpful for certain matters of our lives. That might be the reason I termed non-sharing of thoughts as an handicap. Since the prerequisite for sharing would be honesty on your part, any lies in such cases are totally uncalled for.

Few people dont wish to share even a bit of their lives only because they feel they can handle all this or for that matter they need to handle on their own by default since they being a male, irrespective of the outcome of situation. The feeling of 'i need to finish this on my own' might some time lead you nowhere. I have been through this and certainly i am trying to change my self...

stranded by choice....??

Life has been more of a formality in the past few months......gear shifting occasions have been rare....or might be, I wasnt able to change them at all! Probably that might be the reason....why I am writing after almost 8-9 months. My desires still remain a mystery for me.....consistent chase of some dreams has landed me in situations that would be unacceptable to other mortals. Target(s) and situation(s) still remain the same only the aiming position has changed, might sound little weird......but thats how I feel!

Some times few obligations are so important that you cant even think of anything else.....and whenever I go to sleep I find myself shackled by such obligations. Some would take this theory as being selfish, honestly even I feel so......but then what about my dreams. But one thing is for sure.....all these has been my choice.....cant remember any forced turns.

I still remeber the "three musketeers".......not from the alexandre dumas epic nor from the frequent mentions in the film slummdog millionaire.....but from my own life, namely varun, aman and me!! All three of us are starnded in one or the other way, either by our own choice or by someone else's. Lets see how things shape up in the future.....

back to business :-((

aahhh i really hate this!!

finally the day has come i have to again leave this place. All this time vanished in the same manner as the aromatic compounds used to disappear in my chemistry lab! Man this is genuinely amazing that how 'mr. time manipulates and adjusts him self' when we need him to go slow he just rockets at the speed of knots but when we ask him to run quickly he just refuses to do so...bloody moody fellow!!

But never mind...this ends leads to the beginning of a new countdown for my next home coming....!! yipppee i'll be back soon....

maa please take me home..........

Well i have to take you back to the days of our junior school. Those were purely amazing times that most of us must have enjoyed and remembered till today. Remember, the daily rituals of morning assembly, prayers, pledge, attendance, home work, punishment, recess, tiffins, fights and what not!

The every season passed has been etched in my memory, i still remember the lazy summer afternoons, the crazy monsoons, the restless winters(exam time). Its a different story that today I turn to my organizer for remembering the date. It seems so much has been let behind, so much has been left undone. I don't think the pace has changed but certainly the backdrop has. Life presents a different story today though the moral remains the same.

Often the journey doesn't look easy, the road gets murky and most of the time the destination gets changed before anything could be comprehended.

All this makes me feel like i have lost some where.

There is a shear desperation to go back and re-live the moments. I wish i could re-live the seasons again i wish i could born again.

Maa please take me home...

we got richer....

Hey congratulations people our grappler and boxer did it for us today. my whole hearted wishes to them, they really felt us proud. Both the matches were awesome specially vijender's who clearly punched with purpose also our next 'gamma pehelwaan'(sushil kumar) just showed how old and deep rooted the art is in bhaaratvarsh.

Well guys no need to take this seriously as i hardly know about any of these arts. The only thing that i was able to analyse in sushil's tussle was the striking facial and vocal similarity between sushil and ashu(one of my good friend)!!. And as far as the other match goes, i was constantly thinking what if 'sunny paaji' was there in place of vijender remember the movie 'apne'.

Anyways today's bottom line is we got richer by 2 medals out of which the research work is still on to determine the properties of 2nd one.

Wow we got richer, but so did they!!!

IndiGold !!!!

Okay let me start with a question, what do you like more cricket or olympics? I feel that the answer would be obvious....'olympics' isn't it! Well guys no need to feel bad for our constitutional national game (hockey) and our unconstitutional national game (cricket). The fact of the matter is we aren't doing good in those two but on the contrary we have ultimately delivered goods in the olympics (or so to say in one olympic sport, I dont know)!!

So we just need to be proud of "our bindra" and must believe in our selfs that even guys from a billion strong huddle can get the golden glory!! Jai Hind!! mera bharat mahaan!!! Jai Hind Jai Hind!!! Oopss..seems like I reached sonia gandhi's residence while I was following abhinav to get his autograph!

Anyways apart from this sharp shooter our boxers also fought gallantly, pretty much similar to the way as our leaders battle it out in parliament. Seriously speaking I thought akhil was awesome in earlier bouts untill he messed it all in the quarters against his maldivian ohh sorry maldovian opponent in today's match. Probably 'josh without hosh' brought curtains for him. But never mind it was definitely a brave show by the haryana jatt.

I hope these performances would motivate people like you & me (no not me actually), and might give a face lift to our olympic medal tally, not necessarily at london'12 but at least when the extravaganza is hosted in India!!!

the exotic prison ??

More than 4 weeks have passed and Kashmir is still reeling under torrid times. I don't know why but I have an impression that nothing has been done on center's part to control the condition from getting more aggravated. If things aren't given a serious look this time it could be the end of it all.

The extremist/separatist voices have gone far beyond the normal decibels and even the main line political groups have started helping them in their cause. The unrest is evident and real this time. India hardly has any options, probably because they them selves are responsible for the situation and this would be the last thing I'd wish to digest. Having said that, I believe that neither India nor any particular community could hold people for ransom. What has happened in the valley is very much near to this perception, sadly but this is true.

Its a sorrow state that even after 61 years of independence citizens of this country are still fighting for freedom. I don't understand why the government has always to come up with politically correct statements, why just they cant look the human face of the condition. The so called 'Azadi movement' of the valley is definitely big/real this time. We cannot leave the situation for its own healing rather we have to take honest steps for bringing back peace to the valley. At this point of time its least important that whether Kashmir remains with India or goes with the neighbor on the other side of fence or goes all alone as most of them want, what matters is the interest and lives of the locals must be protected.

One more fact that has been re-established is that the two trouble some communities of India cannot live cordially forever. We sustain our selves on an extremely delicate balance which can be disturbed even by the slightest of the friction between us. And at times these things provide opportunity to others for pointing fingers at us. The bottom line is we need to evolve as a society. We need to learn how to keep the political interests aside and move ahead in the interest of the people.

I hope peace returns to the valley.